Lehi Woman’s Post About Impact Of Husband’s Suicide Is Saving Lives

LEHI, Utah – Suicide can be difficult to talk about but it’s something a Lehi woman isn’t shying away from even after losing her husband to it. Dani Bates said one night in March, her husband didn’t come home.

“Police asked me ‘do you think he will hurt himself?’ and I said ‘no way, maybe he’s stressed out, he’ll come back’,” Bates said.

Her husband Denny never did. He died by suicide leaving behind his wife and two young girls. Bates said the signs were hard to spot.

“He was so happy and he just made everybody have a good time,” she said. “He was inclusive of everybody.”

The impact of his passing on her family has been overwhelming.  Bates said although it will take time, one way that is helping her heal is by sharing her experience online. She wanted to open up a conversation about suicide and the misconceptions, using social media.

“Depression and addiction took my husband’s life,” she said. “It’s just like any other illness. I don’t see it as something that should be embarrassing or shameful.”

In June, she posted this video showing a heartbreaking moment where reality hit her 3-year-old daughter who was crying about her father’s death.

“She kind of had a meltdown and I ended up getting it on camera,” Bates said. “She does this several times throughout the day but it’s normal, it’s our normal now.”

Bates’ hope with this post was to show the impact suicide has on a family. She said there was a misconception that those who die by suicide believe they are a burden on family.

“That is just not true,” she said. “The video makes you think ‘what is going to happen to the people who love me after I do this?’”

She said not only has the video received thousands of views and shares but people in need have reached out to her.

“I get about 100 messages a day and several dozen of those are ‘you saved my life, ‘this video saved my life’, ‘who ever shared it I am forever grateful for because it stop me from taking my life’,” Bates said.

Bates said knowing that her posts are preventing other families from experiencing pain makes it all worth it. It is something she is glad she did in the name of her late husband.

 

“For him being able to keep other people here, that is just amazing,” she said. “It is incredible and it is healing for me.”

 

A GoFundMe has been set up to help Dani Bates’ with family expenses.

SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or exhibiting warning signs, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Additional Crisis Hotlines

• Utah County Crisis Line: 801-226-4433
• Salt Lake County/UNI Crisis Line: 801-587-3000
• Wasatch Mental Health Crisis Line: 801-373-7393
• National Suicide Prevention Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741-741
• Trevor Project Hotline for LGBTQ teens: 1-866-488-7386
• University Of Utah Crisis Interventional Crisis Line: 801-587-300

Online resources

• NAMI Utah
• Utah Chapter-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
• Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Safe UT Crisis Text and Tip Line

In an emergency

• Call the police
• Go to the emergency room