SALT LAKE CITY — When COVID-19 hit Amy Cuddeback — it hit hard. It has been almost a year since she contracted the virus and still her symptoms linger. Her once active lifestyle looks a lot different these days.

“Pre-Covid I did a lot of yoga, running, art, traveling, just being with my family,” she said. “But now when I am in a crash, it feels like someone took a bat to my body and I can’t get up because it hurts so bad.”

She has suffered from constant fatigue, numbness on her left side, allergic reactions to some foods and also ticks.

“They were screaming ticks and so I would scream suicidal violent thoughts that I was not thinking. I had never experienced that in my life,” Cuddeback said.

When she sought treatment from doctors she felt like she hit a dead end.

“They would kind of put it on me like it’s anxiety and so that was really difficult mentally,” she said.

“The pain got to be too much and I just wanted to have my old body back.”
Amy Cuddeback says the lasting symptoms of COVID not only impacted her physical but also mental health.
At 10:00, how she turned to social media for salvation @KSL5TV pic.twitter.com/EII5D6ep7O

— Ashley Moser (@AshleyMoser) October 1, 2021

In March, she finally found doctors who helped diagnose her.

“I got diagnosed with myalgia encephalomyelitis, a severe case of POTS and mass cell activation as well as Phibro myalgia,” she said.

The treatment has been taxing on her, with numerous doctor appointments and hospital visits. At one point, Cuddeback felt she couldn’t take it and made a plan to take her own life.

“The pain got to be too much and I just wanted to have my old body back,” she said. “I just felt trapped in a broken body that could no longer function.”

She checked into a psych unit, got treatment and decided to share her story on the Utah COVID-19 Long-Haulers Facebook page.

“I had six people reach out to me that were also experiencing suicidal ideations, that wanted to seek help but were scared,” Cuddeback explained.

She has since been in contact with those people and connected them to lifesaving mental health resources. Cuddeback was glad her experience was able to touch lives.

“If that’s my purpose right now is to just help people that are in a really dark place, that’s a big enough purpose to still be here,” she said.

Suicide prevention resources

If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, call the suicide prevention hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

Crisis Hotlines

• Utah County Crisis Line: 801-691-5433
• Salt Lake County/UNI Crisis Line: 801-587-3000
• Wasatch Mental Health Crisis Line: 801-373-7393
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
• Trevor Project Hotline for LGBTQ teens: 1-866-488-7386

Online resources

• NAMI Utah: namiut.org
• Utah Chapter-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: afsputah.com
• Suicide Prevention Lifeline: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

COVID-19 Long-Hauler Resources: