Family life professor offers ’10 things you should do before saying ‘I do”

Dec 8, 2021, 1:10 PM | Updated: 1:34 pm

With the fourth-highest marriage rate in the country, (here’s looking at you, Utah County,) a Utah State University professor is offering some tips for those preparing to say, “I do.”

Naomi Brower, who has a master’s degree from Utah State University in Family and Human Development and is a certified family life educator, currently teaches at USU as an extension professor and offered some tips for dating and engaged couples.

And all Utah County jokes aside, Morgan County actually has the highest marriage rate in Utah at a whopping 71.6%.

1. Brower says to ask, “Am I ready?” While planning a marriage can be exciting, Brower points out that the happiest relationships are between two people that are healthy and happy and ready to take on the challenges of life together. She advises that they should not be looking at marriage as a “fix” to their problems or to fix somebody else’s.

2. According to Brower, couples should take their time, which might be tricky for some Utahns. People are on their best behavior when they first meet someone. It takes time for patterns of behavior to emerge and as Brower says, “this is a process that can’t be rushed, even if you spend a lot of time together.”

3. Be extra cautious in long-distance relationships, Brower says. While dating may have evolved to swiping up or down on someone, she urges people to avoid long-term commitments with people they have mostly been in contact with at a distance. Without lots of in-person interaction, it can be hard to really get to know someone.

4. Brower encourages people to “play detective” by asking important and meaningful questions to get to know someone and know their values and priorities.

5. Start to become part of the family. Brower says a lot can be learned about a person and what they will be like as a partner by observing and spending time with their family. If concerns arise about a partner’s family, it might be a good reason to wait before committing to a marriage.

6. Brower says to watch for personality compatibility. No couple will have everything in common, but positive relationships often have many compatible traits including sense of humor, intelligence, recreational interests, etc.

7. Be aware of each other’s values. According to Brower, the largest disagreements in relationships often arise over a difference in values. Values could range from things like spirituality/religion to finances and money spending.

8. Watch for daily life compatibility. Brower says, “While it may not be romantic, the truth is that most of the time we spend with someone in a long-term relationship will be in the everyday routine of life.”

9. Brower encourages couples to learn conflict resolution skills. Even in the happiest relationships, conflicts will arise. Fortunately, Brower says when handled in a positive way, working through these conflicts can actually strengthen the relationship.

10. Plan now to keep your relationship strong. Brower says that like cars, relationships need “regular preventative maintenance in order to run smoothly.” Finding things to do together can be this regular preventative maintenance.

KSL 5 TV Live

Top Stories

Local News

(Alex Cabrero/KSL TV)...
Madison Swenson

Remains found in debris of Spanish Fork house fire; work underway to identify victim

Police and fire officials believe they have found the remains of a woman whose Spanish Fork home went up in flames Tuesday.
19 hours ago
(Utah Highway Patrol)...
Eliza Pace

Three dead, two injured in crash, US-89 closed

Three people are dead and two, including a baby, were injured in a car crash that closed U.S. Highway 89 in both directions.
19 hours ago
Police respond to Spanish Fork High School after receiving reports of an active shooter, which were...
Eliza Pace and Dan Rascon

Hoax calls of shooting threats to Utah schools came from out of the country

Authorities said several school shooting threats were all tracked to one IP address from outside of the country.
19 hours ago
Sodalicious illegally allowed 19 young teenagers to work more hours and times than lawfully permitt...
Brooke Williams

Four Utah Sodalicious locations violate federal child labor laws

The operators of a Utah-born specialty beverage and dessert shop called "Sodalicious" illegally allowed 19 young teens to work more hours and times than lawfully permitted, according to a press release from the U.S. Department of Labor.
19 hours ago
(Humane Society of Utah)...
Madison Swenson

Utah animal shelter warns of possible parasite outbreak in dogs

The Humane Society of Utah is warning dog owners of a possible parasite outbreak after several of them were found to have Giardia.
19 hours ago
(KSL TV)...
Madison Swenson

3 victims in Box Elder County crash identified

The three people who died Monday in a multi-vehicle crash in Box Elder County have been identified.
19 hours ago

Sponsored Articles

Stack of old laptops with dark background...
PC Laptops

Old Laptop Upgrades You Need to Try Before Throwing it Away

Get the most out of your investment. Try these old laptop upgrades before throwing it out to keep it running fast and efficient.
Happy diverse college or university students are having fun on their graduation day...
BYU MBA at the Marriott School of Business

How to Choose What MBA Program is Right for You: Take this Quiz Before You Apply!

Wondering what MBA program is right for you? Take this quiz before you apply to see if it will help you meet your goals.
Close up of an offset printing machine during production...
Les Olson IT

Top 7 Reasons to Add a Production Printer to Your Business

Learn about the different digital production printers and how they can help your company save time and money.
vintage photo of lighting showroom featuring chandeliers, lamps, wall lights and mirrors...
Lighting Design

History of Lighting Design | Over 25 Years of Providing Utah With the Latest Trends and Styles

Read about the history of Lighting Design, a family-owned and operated business that paved the way for the lighting industry in Utah.
Fiber Optical cables connected to an optic ports and Network cables connected to ethernet ports...
Brian Huston, CE and Anthony Perkins, BICSI

Why Every Business Needs a Structured Cabling System

A structured cabling system benefits businesses by giving you faster processing speeds and making your network more efficient and reliable.
notebook with password notes highlighted...
PC Laptops

How to Create Strong Passwords You Can Actually Remember

Learn how you can create strong passwords that are actually easy to remember! In a short time you can create new ones in seconds.
Family life professor offers ’10 things you should do before saying ‘I do”