Siblings can expedite learning opportunities both academically and emotionally

WEST JORDAN — Formal learning may be on break for the summer, but experts tell parents not to overlook the powerful lessons siblings can teach each other at home.

Peyton Aspiazu is one smart 5-year-old. She knows her letters and numbers and is proud to share her newly minted skills with her 2-year-old brother, Cooper Aspiazu.

“Her brother is so eager to be like sissy and so he comes and engages in the play and what she’s learning, he’s picking up at the same time,” their mother, Natasha Aspiazu said.

She says it shows. “We noticed really early on that he was starting to hit developmental milestones a lot quicker,” Aspiazu said. “He was 18 months old, and we were playing hide and seek, and he started counting to ten with sister, and we had no idea he even knew how to count to ten.”

Peyton and Cooper grew up with the same parents, in the same home with one distinct difference — the influence of an older sibling.

“Intellectually and also physically, he is much more advanced at this stage in life versus in comparison to where Peyton was at this stage in life, and we really do chalk that up to a lot to do with Peyton and the play that they have together,” she said.

Aspiazu said her children’s interactions are mutually beneficial.

“We’re not taking away from what she’s learning to bring it down to his level. He’s just kind of picking it up as she picks it up as well,” she said. “And then she’s reinforcing the things that she’s learning through us with him.”

Alex Jensen, associate professor of human development at Brigham Young University, says sibling interaction goes beyond academic learning.

“That sibling just becomes this incredible teacher,” he said. “It’s through their play. It’s through their fighting. It’s through being kind to one another, supporting one another even at those young ages”

Whether it be through direct or indirect influences, Jensen said these lessons are important for young children to learn. In fact, he says research shows even when siblings are not getting along, they are still learning.

“There’s even some evidence to suggest that some sibling conflict is a really healthy thing. Siblings can really help each other learn social skills, like negotiation and compromise, [and] forgiveness,” Jensen said.

Those opportunities can help children think about other people and reconcile with each other, he said.

Mandee Webster, a Spanish Fork mom of six kids spanning ages 2 to 17, has seen this firsthand with her youngest child’s ability to communicate. Mallory Webster, 2 years old, was born prematurely and has dealt with several medical complications, including an airway deformity called laryngomalacia. She’s had several surgeries and used a feeding tube.

“She was born two months early and struggled a lot in the NICU,” Webster said. “She has been in speech therapy since she was born.”

Notwithstanding these setbacks, Mallory has exceeded all expectations by meeting and outperforming both her speech and motor milestones. “We expected to have developmental delays and struggles from prematurity plus the medical complexity, but we’ve seen the opposite,” Mandee Webster said.

She credits her big brothers and sisters.

“Because they’re playing with them more, they’re interacting more, they’re on their level more,” she said.

Webster has noticed her daughter singing more, dancing more, and using more advanced sentence structure. “I noticed a lot of the stuff she picks up on comes from especially the younger kids,” she said, including the way she expresses her emotions. She tells her siblings, “Stop it!” or “I don’t like it!”

She is grateful for the extra time her family has had this summer to be home together more often. “She’s playing more with the kids. We’re not [in the] hustle and bustle of …work, go home, get dinner done, go to bed. We’re able to be with each other more.”

Jensen said research shows siblings spend vastly more time with each other than with adults.\

“Having this other little human being who lives with them, spends so much time with them, gives so many more learning opportunities than if they were just interacting with adults,” he said.

Jensen encourages parents to capitalize on those unique yet invaluable opportunities. “They’re going to take a toy that they want to play with, they’re going to accidentally knock them down, and maybe purposely knock him down,” Jensen said. “They’re also going to love them and hug them and play with them.”
For more on how to prepare your kids both academically and emotionally for kindergarten, visit 5b45kids.com.