How to help your kids deal with back-to-school stress

SARATOGA SPRINGS – For the Arnett family, “back to school” means getting back on schedule.

“It’s been a fun summer, lots going on and lots of busyness,” Kenya Arnett said. “So, getting forced back into a routine for us has been really nice.”

But it hasn’t come without challenges.

“Every time it was bedtime it was, ‘I wanna stay out and play with my friends.'”

Their 8-year-old, Kayson, the oldest of four, has had a hard time adjusting to third grade.

“Overall, I think there’s just been a little more attitude, and mood and behavior and snappiness,” Arnett said.

Kenya Arnett and her husband, Landin Arnett, both realized it was important to give their child space to open up.

“I sat down, I was like, ‘Hey what’s going on man? I’m noticing a lot of pushback; you seem kind of grumpy and moody. What’s up? Let’s talk about it,'” Landin Arnett said.

“And, you know, there wasn’t a lot of willingness to talk about it,” Kenya Arnett said. “And then he gave me a small window of, ‘Well why don’t you look up on your phone of how you handle that?’ And I was like, OK, we’re talking about it now.”

Kayson opened up about some of the difficult changes, like being in a different class from his best friend. “(My mom and dad) asked me questions, and they let me take my time to figure out the answer,” he said.

“From there, we talked about how this is normal, these are hard things you’re dealing with and it’s okay to feel some sort of sadness or disappointment and it takes some time to get used to,” Kenya Arnett said.

Dr. Kristin Francis with Huntsman Mental Health Institute says it’s normal for both kids and parents to feel worried about a new school year.

“Often just talking it through and then coming up with a plan, as well as some strategies for coping, those types of things go a long way for kids,” Francis said. “In general, kids are really resilient. So even though they might be anxious or depressed, they’re going to get through it with your help.”

For the Arnetts, providing a safe space is key.

“(A space) where they can feel connected, feel loved, feel supported, and feel like they’re part of a whole and they’re not isolated on their own island trying to figure out life,” Landin Arnett said.

The couple emphasized there is no such thing as a perfect parent.

“We’re all just feeling our way through this, and we’re doing the best that we can,” Kenya Arnett said. “Give yourself and your child as much grace as you possibly can. And I think it all just comes down to loving them and doing everything you can to show up for them.”