HEALTH

How a stroke inspired a poetry professor

Mar 6, 2024, 6:29 PM | Updated: 7:17 pm

LOGAN — Every year, about 800,000 Americans have strokes. But it seems that, unlike Shanan Ballam, few people found poetry in it.

“January 9, 2022, I was getting ready for bed, and my knees buckled. And I fell to the ground. And I managed to call my husband for help. And that was the last thing I said, for three days,” Ballam recounted.

Her poem “nobody” begins:

Nobody understands what it is like to have a stroke, knees buckling and the crash to the bathroom floor.

Ballam teaches poetry at Utah State University and is Logan’s poet laureate, but was wordless.

Shanan Ballam teaching poetry

Shanan Ballam stands in front of a class at Utah State University, where she teaches poetry. (Brian Champagne, KSL TV)

“I didn’t have anything to say. Like, my mind was just like blank,” she said.

Her husband, Brock Dethier, also a poet, wrote in “SILENCE”:

We both imagined what would happen if your speech never came back. If you were one of the few who lost voice entirely and for good. But as a poet without a voice.

In the hospital, her memory misfired. Not remembering her room layout, she kept thinking someone was rearranging the furniture:

I lived inside shadows and light ever-shifting. Nurses drift nurses dressed in blue, sifting in and out of my room like sand. I woke in a different room every day.

On the third day she spoke five magic words, “It’s Let’s Make a Deal,” referring to the program on TV in her hospital room.

poetry teacher Shanan Ballam

Shanan Ballam had to learn how to speak and walk again following her stroke. (Peter Rosen, KSL TV)

However, she was far from back to her old self. She had to relearn how to walk and talk:

I claw my way through the cobwebs of aphasia. Dull and empty my brain. Snow on the crab apple branches again. I am radiant with patients. I will not break.

“We would play word games,” she said. “Like where we would come up with all the words that start with ‘C,’ or all the words that rhyme with ‘cone.’”

She wrote poetry again, but this time about her stroke:

The oxygen deprivation blossomed in the brain. It was almost beautiful. If it hadn’t been my brain.

“I just had a drive to write poetry because I wanted to share my experience with the world,” she said.

“(Her) writing never suffered at all,” said Aaron Timm, a woman in her poetry critique group. ”That’s the, like the amazing thing. Like even when she struggled with communicating verbally her poems are always like kick-ass, like way good, you know.”

Ballam is publishing a collection of her poems this spring in “First Poems After the Stroke.”

KSL 5 TV Live

Health

Art displays draw attention to women's heart disease. (KSL TV)...

Karah Brackin

Art display brings attention to women’s heart disease

Acid reflux, the flu, or aging: These can be misconceptions about what is really going on, which is much more severe.

2 days ago

The Department of Public Safety is warning Utahns to not drink and drive this Super Bowl Sunday. (K...

Dan Rascon

Department of Public Safety encourages fans to plan a sober ride for Super Bowl Sunday

The Utah Department of Public Safety sent out a word of warning for Super Bowl Sunday: Do not drink and drive.

3 days ago

The Weber County Animal Shelter said it had to euthanize at least 18 dogs after a canine parvovirus...

SIMONE SEIKALY

Parvovirus outbreak leads to euthanizations at Weber County Animal Services

Weber County Animal Services had to euthanize 18 dogs that tested positive for canine parvovirus.

4 days ago

A woman wearing lime green platform shoes....

Emma Benson

Beauty is pain? Why platform shoes can be a health hazard

While platform shoes are back in style, experts say they pose a risk for injury.

9 days ago

The Ogden Fire Department has created a new position. The homeless medical advocate will address th...

Alex Cabrero

Ogden Fire Department expands services with 1 new homeless medical advocate

Ogden Fire's homeless medical advocate will focus on treating minor medical issues among the homeless population.

10 days ago

FILE - The Egyptian Theatre is pictured on the eve of the 2017 Sundance Film Festival on Wednesday,...

Shelby Lofton

Mental health professionals help movie-goers at Sundance Film Festival

A group of professionals from the Huntsman Mental Health Institute are sitting inside Sundance Film Festival screenings, ready to help patrons unpack some of the heavier storylines.

12 days ago

Sponsored Articles

holiday gift basket with blue tissue paper and gingerbread cookies...

Kneaders Bakery & Cafe

Holiday hacks for a stress-free season

Get more out of your time with family and loved ones over the holidays by following these tips for a stress-free season.

2 computer techs in a computer shop holding up a computer server with the "hang loose" sign...

PC Laptops

A comprehensive guide to choosing the right computer

With these tips, choosing the right computer that fits your needs and your budget will be easier than ever.

crowds of people in a German style Christmas market...

This Is The Place Heritage Park

Celebrate Christkindlmarket at This Is The Place Heritage Park!

The Christkindlmarket is an annual holiday celebration influenced by German traditions and generous giving.

Image of pretty woman walking in snowy mountains. Portrait of female wearing warm winter earmuff, r...

Lighting Design

Brighten your mood this winter with these lighting tricks

Read our lighting tips on how to brighten your mood in the winter if you are experiencing seasonal affective disorder.

A kitchen with a washer and dryer and a refrigerator...

Appliance Man

Appliance Man: a trusted name in Utah’s home appliance industry

Despite many recent closures of local appliance stores, Appliance Man remains Utah's trusted home appliance business and is here to stay.

abstract vector digital social network technology background...

Les Olson

Protecting yourself against social engineering attacks

Learn more about the common types of social engineering to protect your online or offline assets from an attack.

How a stroke inspired a poetry professor