As the school year begins, parents are urged to speak to teens about dating violence

WEST VALLEY CITY — West Valley police are asking parents to speak with their teenagers about dating violence and to educate themselves on the signs of it as a new school year begins.

Violence within a relationship can take place in person or online through technology and is considered “intimate partner violence” at age 16 and beyond, according to Utah state law. It can include physical violence, sexual violence, psychological aggression and stalking, among other harmful behaviors.

“Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name-calling, are a ‘normal’ part of a relationship. However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into serious forms of violence. Many teens do not report unhealthy behaviors because they are afraid to tell family and friends,” warns the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

About 1 in 12 high school students across the nation reported experiencing physical dating violence in 2019, according to data collected in the CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey. In that same survey, 1 in 12 also reported experiencing sexual violence.

With prevalence in mind, West Valley police have launched a social media campaign to educate parents and students about the signs of dating violence.

“These are kids, they’re growing up. These are their developmental years, this is where they establish those norms and what’s accepted and what’s right and what’s wrong,” said West Valley Police Sgt. Kevin McLachlan. “In order to give them a firm foundation for the rest of their lives and basically set the tone, this is imperative and that’s why we felt that it’s so necessary to get this information out.”

Warning signs that a teen may be experiencing dating violence, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, can include:

• A partner excessively checks their phone, email or messaging accounts, or social media accounts — with or without their permission.
• A partner puts them down by using insults, intimidation, or humiliation, especially in front of others.
• They become isolated from friends or family members.
• A partner is extremely jealous or insecure.
• Explosive outbursts or mood swings.
• Possessiveness or controlling behavior.
• Any type of physical harm.

West Valley police are also asking teens to keep an eye on their peers, and reach out for help when it’s needed.

“We want to try to get to the root problem so we can actually solve it. I understand it would be scary for teenagers to feel like they may be betraying their friend, but in the long run it will provide them help and provide them the assistance that they need. It’s super important for people — if they hear something that doesn’t sound quite right — to contact police, talk to a trusted adult, talk to somebody who’s going to be able to get them the resources they need,” said Mackenzie Fowler, a violent crimes detective with the police department.

“This type of behavior, it is a cycle — I mean, it’s the same with adults when that romantic relationship develops — it is a cycle and, usually, it does not get better by itself. So if a friend or somebody does recognize that somebody is in need of help, the risks far outweigh the social backlash,” added McLachlan.

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Domestic violence resources

If you or someone you know is going through abuse, help is available.

• The Utah Domestic Violence Coalition operates a confidential statewide, 24-hour domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-897-LINK (5465).
• Resources are also available online at the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition website.
• YWCA Women in Jeopardy program: 801-537-8600
• Utah’s statewide child abuse and neglect hotline: 1-855-323-DCFS (3237)

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233