Grief counselors offer advice on processing difficult details of West Valley murder-suicide

SALT LAKE CITY – As details emerge about an apparent murder-suicide in West Valley City involving a family of six, they can be difficult to hear and process.

“This is one of those things that’s a tragedy on every level,” said Hilary Dahle, associate clinical mental health counselor at Eagle Mountain Counseling.

Darren Gillespie, a licensed clinical social worker, added, “This is a time to be sad, really.”

Dahle and Gillespie have helped people navigate grief and trauma. They spoke with KSL TV Wednesday about how to process the disturbing news that five family members were found shot to death this week inside their home, with a sixth family member hospitalized in critical condition.

West Valley City killings likely murder-suicide, police say

West Valley City police said Wednesday they believe the father, who has not been identified, shot his family members before turning the gun on himself.

“It’s very traumatic, especially for those who knew the family and the community,” Dahle said.

It can also be tough for children to process when kids their own age are involved.

Dahle advised being direct and open – and not hiding it.

“Sometimes we want to go in and we want to reassure the child and make sure they feel good,” she said. “But they need a moment to feel what they feel, and it really is a scary event.”

Gillespie added children often process bad news heavier than adults do.

“The less they have to be exposed, the better,” he said. “But if they are, the best thing the parents could do is help them understand it better than what their mind is doing.”

But adults can also struggle with processing stories like this. This tragedy happened just one week before Christmas.

“It’s supposed to be a happy season where people are more merry,” Gillespie said.

The counselors said it’s important to be aware of feelings and talk to someone.

“It’s OK to say we’re sad, this was difficult to hear – we need some time and space to kind of think about it – and give ourselves time to grieve,” said Dahle.

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If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or exhibiting warning signs, call, text, or chat the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 which is answered 24/7/365 by crisis counselors at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute. All calls to legacy crisis hotlines, including the old National Suicide Prevention hotline, 1-800-273-8255, will also connect to a crisis care worker at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute as well.

Additional resources

• SafeUT: Parents, students, and educators can connect with a licensed crisis counselor through chat by downloading the SafeUT app or by calling 833-3SAFEUT (833-372-3388)
• SafeUT Frontline: First responders, including firefighters, law enforcement, EMS, and healthcare professionals can chat with a licensed crisis counselor at no cost 24/7/365 by downloading the SafeUT Frontline app.
• SafeUTNG: Members of the National Guard can chat with a licensed crisis counselor at no cost 24/7/365 by downloading the SafeUTNG app.
• Utah Warm Line: For non-crisis situations, when you need a listening ear as you heal and recover from a personal struggle, call 1-833 SPEAKUT 8:00 a.m.-11:00 p.m., 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
• The Huntsman Mental Health Institute offers a wide variety of programs and services including suicide prevention and crisis services, hospital treatment, therapy & medication management, substance Use & addiction recovery, child & teen programs, and maternal mental health services including birth trauma, pregnancy loss, infertility, and perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.
• LiveOnUtah.org is a statewide effort to prevent suicide by promoting education, providing resources, and changing Utah’s culture around suicide and mental health. They offer resources for faith based groups, LGBTQ+, youth, employers, firearm suicide prevention, and crisis and treatment options.

 

Counties in Utah provide services for mental health and substance use disorders. Centers are run by the thirteen Local Mental Health and Substance Use Authorities all across the state and offer therapy, substance use disorder treatment, support groups, mobile services, youth treatment, and more.

These resources and more information can be found here: https://www.uacnet.org/behavioralhealth.

Other community-based resources

• NAMI Utah provides education, support and advocacy for individuals and families impacted by mental illness.
• American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers prevention programs, public education, support for loss survivors, and fundraising for research.
• Encircle Utah: LGBTQ+ family and youth resource center.
• Utah Pride Center empowers Utah’s diverse LGBTQ+ community.
• The Trevor Project: LGBTQ teen resource center.
• U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Mental Health
• Latino Behavioral Health Services
• Center for Workplace Mental Health offers suicide prevention and response for employers.