HEALTHY MIND MATTERS

Suicide postvention: Resources for those left behind 

Jan 31, 2025, 8:45 PM | Updated: Feb 2, 2025, 1:31 pm

ST. GEORGE — It’s been two years since Jilynne Hafen lost her younger brother, Tyler.

“Tyler was just the most amazing, loving, fun brother. Beautiful singer and guitar player,” she recalled. “He loved to travel. He loved to see sights.”

Suicide remains a leading cause of death in Utah and nationwide. For every person who takes their life, experts say 135 others are affected.

“There’s lots of ‘I wishes,'” Hafen said. “What could I have done differently? What did I not do enough of?”

A photo of Tyler. (Courtesy, Jilynne Hafen)

As a survivor of suicide loss, Hafen is coming to terms with the fact that she doesn’t have the answers, and she may never.

“I could have said all the right things, but that doesn’t mean it would have changed his decision,” she said.

Hafen is navigating her grief by keeping her brother’s memory alive. “I will hear an acoustic guitar, and I will think, ‘Oh, Tyler would love this song.'”

She also joined a local support group called LOSS — Loved Ones Suicide Survivors. They hold twice-monthly support groups in Cache County, Salt Lake County, Utah County, and Washington County, where Hafen attends.

“I cherish the times I’ve been able to go to share the story of Tyler and be with other people that have a similar story,” she said. “You don’t have to suffer in silence; you don’t have to grieve in silence.”

“We’re not alone. There’s other people here who can help,” said Michael Johnson, the director of operations for LOSS. “It’s kind of like the family we never wanted but we’re glad we have.”

Johnson founded the peer-led group a decade ago after his partner killed their two daughters and then took her own life.

“I was angry with myself, and my guilt almost killed me,” he said. “After going to group and hearing people tell how they were able to cope and how they were able to get through daily life, I started using some of the things I heard and it helped.”

Since survivors of suicide loss are at higher risk for suicide themselves, Johnson said having a community of others makes a big impact.

“Postvention is prevention,” he said. “The first time I went, I sat in the parking lot for a good half hour before coming in. If you don’t want to talk, you don’t talk. You just sit and listen.”

And as these survivors know, it doesn’t get better overnight. But they take it one step at a time.

“You know, there’s that saying that ‘time heals all wounds.’ It’s false,” Johnson said. “Time heals a lot of wounds, but there are some wounds that are too deep to heal by time. But the time does give you the separation to be able to deal with it.”

“I think of Tyler every hour of every day,” Hafen said. “All I can do is love the memory of him and be there for people that are struggling.”

For more information on the Loved Ones Suicide Survivors support group, including meeting times, visit their website or Facebook page.


Suicide prevention resources

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts or exhibiting warning signs, call, text, or chat the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 which is answered 24/7/365 by crisis counselors at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute. All calls to legacy crisis hotlines, including the old National Suicide Prevention hotline, 1-800-273-8255, will also connect to a crisis care worker at the Huntsman Mental Health Institute as well.

Additional resources

  • SafeUT: Parents, students, and educators can connect with a licensed crisis counselor through chat by downloading the SafeUT app or by calling 833-3SAFEUT (833-372-3388)
  • SafeUT Frontline: First responders, including firefighters, law enforcement, EMS, and healthcare professionals can chat with a licensed crisis counselor at no cost 24/7/365 by downloading the SafeUT Frontline app.
  • SafeUTNG: Members of the National Guard can chat with a licensed crisis counselor at no cost 24/7/365 by downloading the SafeUTNG app.
  • Utah Warm Line: For non-crisis situations, when you need a listening ear as you heal and recover from a personal struggle, call 1-833 SPEAKUT 8:00 a.m.-11:00 p.m., 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
  • The Huntsman Mental Health Institute offers a wide variety of programs and services including suicide prevention and crisis services, hospital treatment, therapy & medication management, substance Use & addiction recovery, child & teen programs, and maternal mental health services including birth trauma, pregnancy loss, infertility, and perinatal mood and anxiety disorders.
  • LiveOnUtah.org is a statewide effort to prevent suicide by promoting education, providing resources, and changing Utah’s culture around suicide and mental health. They offer resources for faith based groups, LGBTQ+, youth, employers, firearm suicide prevention, and crisis and treatment options.
Counties in Utah provide services for mental health and substance use disorders. Centers are run by the thirteen Local Mental Health and Substance Use Authorities all across the state and offer therapy, substance use disorder treatment, support groups, mobile services, youth treatment, and more.
These resources and more information can be found here: https://www.uacnet.org/behavioralhealth.
Other community-based resources

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